Of course, when I haven’t written since August, there is A LOT to update on. I’ll get to more later, but I wanted to write about some news that I can now be more “public” about!
Though I have absolutely loved my job teaching 5th grade at Heritage Elementary, I accepted a new job a couple weeks ago that will allow be to work from home. I will be writing upper elementary curriculum for a company called Mosaica Education. My good friends Nick and Bethany have worked for the company for several years and I have always admired the creative and meaningful work that they did, as well as the flexible lifestyle the job allowed them to have. So, when I received a phone call in October saying that the curriculum design team needed another person, I was excited….but hesitant. I tried a couple projects for the company and by earlier this month, I realized (and thankfully, so did Mosaica) that the fit was great. I was asked to start full-time in January. Ok, so great that this AMAZING opportunity has been offered to me, but now a huge decision was in front of me.
I love the students that I work with every day. I’ve come to really care about their families too. I adore the teachers that I work with. They’ve become some of my dearest friends here (and definitely my closest). Could I really walk away from that? Today, I did just that. It was my last day today. It was a really hard day. I cried with my teaching partner. I cried with some parents. I tried to hide my crying from my students. I hugged a lot of 5th graders and their sweet parents really tight. I cleared my room and replaced my name with the new teacher’s name on my class lists and schedules…..did I mention that it was a hard day?!
BUT, through it all, I have a peace. The flexibility of the job, increase in pay, and unique opportunities (like trips overseas) were all wonderful and played into my decision…but, ultimately, I took the job because I truly felt God’s leading. I made the decision to take a job that will give me more time with Greyson and Selah, who will be grown before I know it. I made the decision to take a job that will give me more time with my husband and more opportunity to serve people in other ways….I’m already looking into volunteering with Young Life at the High School that Heritage feeds into. I want to make time to sing again, to work out, to invest in people here, to travel. I’ll miss teaching. I’ll miss my students. I’ll miss my friends at Heritage. However, I left today knowing that I’ll still see the people I’ve grown close too. God is good. I always meet amazing people in every chapter of my life….this was certainly no exception.
I got home today to these happy flowers (sent by my parents):
These, paired with a relaxing bath, glass of wine, and prayer were just what this heart needed after today. I was listening to a song that I listened to over and over in college (and beyond): “refine me” by Jennifer Knapp. Ah! At so many points in my life (including tonight) this song has SO been my prayer. I am reminded tonight that my God is faithful. He knows what he’s doing with this life of mine. Here I am at your feet God as I transition to this new place in my life….refine me. teach me. use me.
Lyrics to “Refine Me” by Jennifer Knapp
I come into this place
Burning to receive your peace
I come with my own chains
From wars I’ve fought for my own selfish gain
You’re my God and my Father
I’ve accepted your Son
But my soul feels so empty now
What have I become?
Lord, come with your fire,
Burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Refine me
My heart can’t see
When I only look at me
My soul can’t hear
When I only think of my own fears
They are gone in a moment
You’re forever the same
Why did I look away from You
How can I speak Your name?
Lord, come with Your fire,
burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Come rescue this child
For I long to be reconciled to You
It’s all I can do
To give my heart and soul to You
And pray, and pray, oh I will pray
Lord, come with Your fire,
burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Come rescue this child
For I long to be reconciled to You
